Tokyo Moon
by jupitergrl
Summary: The camp must move when threatened with a weapon of mass destrucion! After that there is nothing but chaos!
1. Chapter 1

Hawkeye was sitting near the swamp, listening to his records when he heard a voice announcement.

PA system said, "Attention, all personnel! Everyone must evacuate the camp immediately! I repeat, everyone must leave the camp immediately!"

Hawkeye was like, HUH what's going on?

Then Colonel Potter came running over.

Hawkeye asked, "Colonel, why do we have to evacuate?"

Col said, "It's complicated. I'll tell you more about it at an announcement to the whole camp."

Hawkeye "Ok.'

Then, they loaded up the the transport truck and everyone boarded jeeps and the truck and ambulances. Everyone was totally confused and wondering what was going on and rumors and false info were being spread all around the camp! Finally they drove and drove until the came to this city area and Colonel was like, this is where we're staying. Everyone else was like ok. Then they filed out of the car in a big city and Col. said he needed to talk with them. So everyone sat down and listened to what Colonel Potter had to say.

Colonel called out, "Well as you all know we had to evacuate. The reason why is this: North Korean Kim Jongle has threatened to bomb the area with a nuclear bomb weapon of mass destruction!!!"

Margaret said, "Omg! That's awful! I'm so glad we escaped!"

Trapper yelled,"That's crazy!"

Radar whined, "That's scary!"  
Hawkeye laughed and replied to Radar by saying, "Shut the hell up little baby! No one asked you!"

Frank suddeny yelled out "FUCK DAT!

"Frank shut up! You don't want the colonel to yell at you," Margaret told him.

Frank replied, " I don give a shit bout him! Shit babe."

"Oh Frank… you sound so sexy talking all bad like that you are such a badass," said Margaret.

"Hell yeah. Babe," Frank said.

Then they started kissing all passionately and they stumbled right to where the colonel was speaking! They were totally embarrassed! They were just like, oh my gosh! Sorry! Then Col Potter was starting to get all mad!

Col yelled, "Sit your asses down! I'm not done speaking yet! Control youselves!

Maragert said, "Sorry, Colonel!!"

Col went on. "Anyway, we had to evacuate the area and we will now be staying here in Tokyo, Japan until we can find a new settlement in Korea. Any questions?"

Camp said "No sir."

"Ok, then. Everyone report to the hotel for room assignments."

SO they all went up to the hotel to get room assignments. It turned out that Hawkeye got stuck sharing a room with Frank and Radar who he hated! He was so pissed and he wanted to room with Trapper and he went to go negotiate with Colonel, but Colonel said all room assignments were final.

Hawkeye was like "This sucks!"  
He then went and found Trapper.

Trapper asked, "Who are you sharing a room with Hawkeye?"

Hawkeye told him, Frank and Radar!

"That is awful! I'm sharing a room with Maraget," said Trapper.

Hawkeye said, "Whoa won't Frank be pissed!"

"He doesn't have to know."

"Yeah."

Then Radar come over to them

Trapper said, "Oh great. Look who's here."

They both rolled their eyes.

Radar came up and said, "Hi, Hawkeye, are you ready to go up to the room?"

Hawkeye said, "Yeah, as long as it's not with you doo doo face!"

Radar frowned and walked away. Trapper snickered at his comments.

"Well, I'll see you at dinner," Hawkeye said as he walked away.

Then Hawkeye went up to his room. When he got there Frank and Radar were already up there.

"Not you," Frank said.

Hawkeye said,"Whatever ferret face!"

Frank replied with, "Fuck you muthafucka!"

Then Radar butted in! "Jeez guys, can you stop!"

"Why? Are we scaring you little baby?!" Hawkeye said.

He laughed.

"Well I'm leaving. I'm going to go to the book store," Radar told everyone.

Frank said, "Why? So you can go get summa dat manga shit! Dat shit's lame!"

Radar was like, "Is not!!!! You guys are mean!'

Then he moped away like a loser!

Meanwhile in Trapper's and Margaret's room, Trapper was putting the moves on Margaret.

Margaret said, "Um, excuse! I have a man who I love very much already!"

Trapper said, "Come on… we are in here with a room all to ourselves!"

"Um, shut up freak!"

"But you're sooo beautiful Margaret! Don't you know that!"

"You aren't winning me over. You might as well stop."

"But Margaret….."

He puts his hands and caressed her face

Margaret said, "Umm."

Margaret cleared her throat. She started realizing that she just could not resist this handsome man that she was sharing a room with!!! So she gave in to his advances and they both started kissing each other. Little did they know what was ahead!!!

Meanwhile Frank was sitting in his room and he was getting sooo bored. So he decided he would go up and see Margaret. He went up the stairs and entered Margaret's room, where he saw her and Trapper making Out!!! He was so furious about that!

Frank yelled, "Babe, WHAT is goin on up in hereh?!?

Margaret said, "Oh, um, Frank! Trapper was just… um…"

Trapper then said, "We weren't really doing anything! Honest, Frank!"

"Bitch, please. I ain't no foo. I know what I saw. Shit," Frank said.

Margaret said, "Frank! I am sooo sorry! Can you please forgive me babe?"

But Frank wasn't interested in forgiving. Frank was interested in getting even.


	2. Chapter 2

Frank was totally pissed at Margaret. How could she do this to him? He went downstairs and sat out and looked at the moon. He stared deep into the eyes of the man on the moon. Then he thought about how he could get even with Trapper and Margaret. He then decided he would give in a little call to one of his old friends who he met at a strip club in Tokyo. He went to a phone booth and put in 10 cents and dialed the phone. A voice on the other end said, "Hello?"

Frank said, "What it do shawty!"

The voice, KIM JONGLE!!!, said, "Who this?"

"Dontcha 'member me?"

"No who this?"

"Dis is Frank!"

"Oh Major Burns. How you doing today sir?"

"Not dat great. But it don't matta. Look g, I need to ask you to do summin fo me."

"Certainly. Anything you want my favorite American."

"Yo, I need you to bomb dis gayass hotel here wit a buncha army people inside it."

"Bomb?! I love to."

"Aight. It's called tha Tokyo Moon hotel. You know where dat is?"

"Yes, I stay there in my honeymoon."

"Ok den. I'mma be waitin fo it. Thanks shawty."

"No, thank YOU!!! You good American man! Thank you."

And then they hung up! Frank would finally be getting his revenge, not just on Trapper, not just on Margaret, but all of them who he hated soooo much! Like Radar, Colonel Potter, Hawkeye, Klinger, etc. He was so excited. He ran up to his room and saw that Hawkeye was in there but Radar was still out getting manga. He pretended to be asleep until Hawkeye fell asleep so he could leave. He was going to go discuss things with Kim Jongle's handyman and also get some ho's! Well he thought Hawkeye was asleep, but he really wasn't. Hawkeye was trying to sleep but couldn't. So when he heard Frank get up and open the door he became kinda suspicious and decided he would follow him! He walked a few feet behind Frank and very quietly so he wouldn't notice. Frank exited the building and started walking on Main Street with Hawkeye behind him. He walked down the street some and then turned into a dark alley . Hawkey jumped quickly into a dumpster and hid and watched what happened. Frank and a heavyset Asian man met up. The Asian man talked about where the hotel was located. He then asked what type he should use. Hawkeye was like, what type of what? He was super confused but he knew Frank was up to something. Frank just said whichever will cause the most damage. Then he went down to the street corner to pick up his ho's! Hawkeye ran back to the hotel to tell Colonel otter. Frank Would not be getting away with this! 


	3. Chapter 3

Back at the hotel, Hawkeye went to the colonel to tell him about what was up!

Hawkeye went up to him and said, "Frank is acting really strange colonel!"

Clever Colonel asked, "Well how's that any different?"

Hawkeye said, "Well, it's just that I think he's up to something."

"Like what?"

" I dunno… he is just bein so secretive… more than usual! I caught him sneaking out of his room last night."

"Whoa! BAD news! We're going to have to do something about this."

"Yes."

Colonel went up to Frank's room and knocked on the door.

Colonel Potter said, "Frank, come out for a minute. I need to talk to you."

Frank called out, "Well I don wanna talk to you! Go away old man!"

Colonel was angry after that comment!

Colonel yelled, "FRANK, GET OUT HERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE I TEAR THIS DOOR RIGHT DOWN!"

Frank said, "Shiiiiiiit, can't get no peace 'round here."

And then Frank opened the door.

Frank angrily said, "Watchu want?"

"Frank, WHAT are you up to?"

"Uh, whatchu talking bout? I ain't up to nothing!!! Ya'll be some paranoid folks!"

Colonel and Hawkeye thought Frank sounded nervous, so they knew something was up!

Colonel said, "We are going to get some military police officers to interrogate you because you seem so suspicious."

"Dat ain't fair!"

"Nothing really is. I'm calling them right now!"

Frank said, "Fuck you!"

Then Colonel, a little old man but still feisty, got Frank in a head lock and told him to shut up RIGHT NOW!

"Shut up and get your self in line, solider! I am sick of your whiny little baby attitude! You ain't big and tough! You're about as big and tough as Radar! So start showing some respect or I will stick my foot down your throat you hear me!!!!!!"

Frank was like "Psh, whateva old man!"

Colonel said, "WHAT!"

Colonel looked so enraged and Frank realized that and he got a little nervous and decided to back down a little bit.

Frank said, "Uh, sorry Colonel."

"YOU BETTER BE!"

"Yeah, ok, I got dat, now whaddya want?"

"I ALREADY SAID IT, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO?!"

"Nuttin, I was jus a lil pissed, dat's all."

"I've been with you long enough to know that YOU'RE LYING!"

Frank said, "Colonel, pleeze, you makin me crazy. Jus calm down an' realize it ain't no thang. You overeactin', aiight bruh?"

Klinger then came in and started doing a striptease on the bed.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING!!!" yelled Col. Potter.

Klinger said, "Please take me out of the army!"

Colonel was like, "Shut up you idiot! And all of you go to bed! It's an order!"

Then Colonel left and went to get his PJs.

Then Radar came back and started getting ready for bed. He climbed in and pulled up his covers when he realized something was missing. Radar jumped up and said, "WHERE'S MY TEDDY????!!!!!??"

Hawkeye started laughing. "Look outside", he said.

So Radar did and he saw his teddy bear's head only strung up on a flagpole!! Radar started crying like a little baby. It was so funny. Then everyone went to bed. Colonel said that he'd just deal with it in the morning.


	4. Chapter 4

So then the next moring everyone woke up and went down to get some continental breakfast. It was so delicious and so much better than camp foods. Margaret was sitting by herself in the corner, so sad about Frank. Frank was not present at breakfast. Colonel told Radar to go get him and make him come down here. "Yes sir," said Radar.

So Radar walked up the stairs and to the room and unlocked the door.

"Major Burns are you in here?"

No answer.

"Major?"

There was no one in the room! The window was opened and Frank escaped!!! Radar ran into the elevator and told the colonel!

Colonel couldn't believe it!!! Frank was now gone and could be getting away with something terrible! So Colonel told all police officers in the area to be on the lookout for a man with brown hair, blue eyes, 66'2" and 163 pounds! Meanwhile Frank on the run and now a fugitive, he was trying to find a place to hide so those losers from the MASH wouldn't find him!! He was looking around everywhere, but he had no ideas. Then he noticed the cops near him. He was like, oh no!!! He totally hated the cops. He had a distrust of them and a bad history. Frank hid behind a trash can until the officer passed. Then he kept running. He didn't know where he was going, he just knew he had to flee town! So he went and went and went when a cop was driving a patrol car down the street! Frank totally freaked out and just ran right in front of the car!!! The car slammed on the brakes but came to a complete stop only after it had hit Frank!! The officer jumped out of his car and called the ambulance and back up. Frank was not badly injured but he was still in pain. The cop tried to move him, but Frank struggled as much as he could!! He thought the cop would do something sneaky! He used all of his remaining strength and kicked the cop in the face. Then he ran away but he was in pain and fell on the ground. Then the cop got up and tasered him and he went on the ground and was spazzy and paralyzed by the shock. They then took him to the hospital. Colonel Potter was notified and rushed over to the hospital immediately! Colonel asked about where Frank's room was, then rushed up to it.

Colonel said, "WHAT THE HELL DID YOU THINK YOU WERE DOING?" when entered Frank's hospital bed.

"Frank just stared out the window and didn't even look at Colonel!

"GOD DAMMIT, LOOK AT ME WHEN I TALK TO YOU!"

Colonel walked over to Frank and struck him with his back hand!

"MOTHAFUCKA! What chu do dat fo? God damn, leamme da hell alone! Can't chu see I'm in pain right now!"

"You dumb loser! If you didn't go running off trying to hide things you'd be fine!!!!"

"I ain't hidin nothin bitch."

Colonel Potter stood staring at Frank with such a fiery angry look in his eyes!!! Then suddenly the door came open and Hawkeye, Trapper, Radra, Klinger, Father Mulcahy, and even Margaret came in!!

Trapper and Hawkeye immediately started laughing!

"Frank, you are soooo dumb!" said Hawkeye.

"Looks like you really got what you wanted, huh!"

They were laughing sooo much and Frank was getting totally pissed!

Then Father, said, "Dear Frank, we love you. Get well soon, my child sir."

Frank just concentrated on the pain. Then Radar stepped up.

Radar said, "Major Burns I brought you a manga! It's Ranma 1 ½!"

Frank turned to Radar and slapped the book out of his hand!!!

"Get dat shit away from me!" he said!

Radar started crying and ran out of the room.

Margaret was sitting in the corner wondering how Frank would react to her. Colonel sensed this and then left and told everyone to GET OUT. Margaret walked over to Frank's bedside.

"Frank, babe please let's talk! I am soooo sorry! Don't you know that!"

But Frank just ignored her!!! She started crying and then the army police officers came in and told her to leave because Frank was about to be inttergated!


	5. Chapter 5

Well meanwhile Hawkeye was sitting in the hospital waiting room thinking about what was going on. He wondered just what it was that Frank was up too! He also wondered, if what he was doing would be found out by the military police men.

Margaret said, "Oh Hawkeye, I am sooo nervous about Frank! Is he ok? What do you think they will do?"

Hawkeye laughed. "Uh, who cares! Get over him!"

Margaret was totally pissed at him for saying that!

"You suck!" she said as she through a magazine from the waiting room in his face.

Trapper said, "Someone's in a pissy mood!"

They both laughed and Margaret stormed off. Then suddenly Frank's hospital door opened and the military police officers walked in. "We have no suspicions against Major Frank Burns. We are now releasing him back to the Colonel."

Oh no! Thought Hawkeye. He ran up to one of the officers.

"You mean you didn't find anything weird about his behavior, AT ALL?"

The officer said, "No!!! I think yall are being a little too paranoid. He's fine."

Then the doctors came and started saying that Frank would be released from the hospital. "That man is doing fine. He wasn;t seriously injured by the car or taser."

Colonel said, "Thank you doctor. Frank, get ready to catch the next bus back to the hotel."

Frank grumbled and got up from the bed. He started following the rest of the group down the hallway, when suddenly, he grabbed a stretcher from one of the doctors and pushed it into Colonel Pooter! Colonel immediately fell down! Then the doctors came and tried to restrain him. But Frank grabbed some tranquilizer syringes from one of the hospital rooms and threw them right into the doctors like darts! They fell to the ground. Then Hawkeye and Trapper started approaching him. He got the table from the hospital waiting room and broke it over Hawkeye's head. He then got the flower vase and broke it over Trapper's. Both fell to the ground in pain! Radar then thought he had a chance! Lol. Radar tried to walk up to Frank, bit instead ended up tripping on everyone who was on the ground. Frank stepped on him as he dashed out of the Hospital. He thought he would return to the hotel one last time, to pick up some of his guns and weed. So he walked and walked until he got back to the Tokyo Moon Hotel. There he promptly went up to his room. He started digging through his things and noticed a pic of Margaret. He stared at it and thought about, how much he loved her. He clutched it tightly in his hands. All of a sudden he heard what sounded like a jet being flown overhead! He wondered what this was all about. Then he suddenly remembered asking Kim Jongle to bomb the hotel in order to get back at the 4077 workers! He gasped and dashed down the stairs as fast as possible, picture of Margaret still in hand. He heard the plane getting closer! The stairs seemed endless! What would happen!!!!!!!! He finally reached the first floor. He got right near the door and opened it, but it was too late! The bomb came flying from the sky! He tripped and fell in the parking lot. He crawled two inches. Before he heard the big boom. The heat filled all around him. He hurt so bad. He took one last look at Maragert's picture as he took his last breath and quietly died.

Meanwhile, everyone at the hospital could feel and hear that big boom. They were terrified. They wondered what happened!!! A few hours later, the crew loaded up on the bus. They returned to the hotel, and were shocked when all they saw was loads of like destruction stuff! Margaret was so worried! What about Frank! The wind blew and a photo that was blackened from fire blew near them. They all saw it was a picture of Margaret! The fire department was there and said they found a pair of dogtags, reading Major Frank Burns, MASH4077. Margaret screamed out in emotional pains!

Margaret was like, NOOOOOOOOO!

Colonel comforted her. Everyone else stood there in shock. His time had come.

THE END.


End file.
